College Forum: Habiba Sayma
My first introduction to the High School of American Studies were the summer days of 2016 in the Discovery Program. There I was surrounded by the same type of people I had been around all my life: People of Color. I thought that this would translate into the entire experience I would have at HSAS, but I was completely wrong. Walking through the hall the first day of freshman year, I realized that the people around me looked nothing like me. I wore a hijab, loose black pants and a maroon quarter sleeve dress shirt while all the girls around me wore short skirts and tank tops. They all spoke differently to me. After a while, I tucked my Bronx accent behind and developed my “white voice”. I knew that I could never physically fit into what the other girls looked like, but I could make it seem like I was one of them in action. I also felt the need to prove my intelligence, specifically because I enrolled in the school through the Discovery program. I studied laboriously and took on extracurriculars that my parents would allow me to do, (That's another battle I faced, balancing my need to prove myself and do as much as I could with the resources available vs. my parents wishes for me to be a subservient Bengali-Muslim daughter.) But along the way, I never truly lost who I was and I vow to never do so.
In the last four years, I partook in a range of extracurriculars. My freshmen-sophomore year I ran Cross Country and Track for the schools PSAL team, but quit due to health reasons and because I realized running was not helping me build myself as a person. Instead I invested in my school's Multicultural Club, where I performed the first ever Bollywood Dance. Dancing with one partner inspired the other POC in my small school to take part in the dance the following year. Eventually, because of the Bollywood dance team, me and couple of my other friends started to form a Muslim Students Assocation where we educated our peers on injustices happening to Muslims and other minorities. We faced a lot of backlash from students in our school for starting a MSA but we did not surrender rather actively fought to implement the club. Ultimately we did and it is one of the most successful clubs in my high school, with over 30 active members.
Additionally, in the Multicultural show I gave a speech to my school about what it felt like to live in Trumps America as a Muslim American. It was one of the most nerve racking things I had done, especially as a timid 9th grader. I opened up to my privileged white school about the daily microaggressions I faced because of the color of my skin, my appearance, my race and my decision to wear a scarf around my head. I know that it's hard to tell personal stories, but by being vulnerable is the best way to gain empathy and have your voice be heard. The next day I received pity stares but mostly praise from many of my peers and teachers alike.
One teacher reached out to me and introduced me to Model UN, where I developed public speaking abilities and thrived while doing so. I even became a captain as a junior! As the years progressed I got involved with the Local Outreach Tutoring program for minorities (like myself) from neighboring Bronx middle schools. This student-led program helps students with Math and English enrichment to better their chances of getting into our school and it was something I needed when I was in 7th grade. I’m very passionate about the LOT program because it gives me a sense of comfort as I’m helping those in my position. I have not forgotten where I came from, a place where resources were limited and opportunities were diminished. That is something I will never forget: my milieu. No matter the struggles I would encounter, I always knew that I have to continue to fight for my people and use all the resources I am given to continue fighting for others. I made myself the face of HSAS, a white and privileged institution in the heart of the Bronx, to show people that the kids in low-income minority houses have more to give than those living in fancy apartments in Manhattan.
This fall I will attend Barnard College of Columbia University in New York City. I could’ve never imagined attending a women college when I first came to HSAS, yet here I am. I choose Barnard because it is the perfect antidote to the flawed idea my Bengali culture, and my own parents, perpetuate: men are superior to women. I made the decision to apply Early Decision to Barnard September of my senior year. This was an extremely busy time, especially balancing 3 AP’s, a college class and all of my extracurriculars. I pulled many all-nighters and scratched numerous drafts of my personal statements and supplements. In the end I choose to write about being vulnerable and using my voice in places that hindered it. With the help of some of my teachers and peers, by November 1st, 2019, I had my favorite piece of writing that I wrote. By December 15, 2019, thirty other admission officers thought me and my accomplishments good enough to admit me into the incredible institution that is Barnard College. In the next four years, I will continue to fight for POC and fight against the norms set for myself and my community. I will break all barriers set for me, the only difference is that this time I am proving to anyone anything because the only validation I need is my own.
