College forum: Christian Barnes

At 16, focusing on high school classes: “You’ll have time to travel when you’re in college! You can take advantage of study abroad!”

At 19, focusing on declaring a major: “Focus on your classes, you can spend time with friends later.”

At 23, focusing on my full-time job: “Focus on starting your career, you can focus on hobbies when you’re settled.”

I can’t remember how many times an adult, whether an advisor, or a teacher, or a well-meaning adult asking me “so what are you up to in life” tried to decide what my priorities should be. Everyone always thought the things I wanted to do were less important than some higher task that I should be focusing on my stage of life. School. Work. Home. One of those three was always the “most important thing someone your age should be focusing on.” 

I’m glad I didn’t listen.

Now I’m not saying school and a career aren’t important priorities throughout middle and high school, but I know that future you will thank yourself if you carve out time to broaden your horizons. The experience you get trying new things will be worth it in the long run. During my junior year of high school, I ended up trying out for the wrestling team. My college advisor thought it was crazy for me to—during the most important year of college admissions—decide to add another engagement to my plate. Going to practices five to six times a week, two to three hours, seemed crazy to start at the same time that I was starting my college career, taking college level courses, and studying for the SAT. What I found, in hindsight, was two to three hours a week where I didn’t need to focus on school all the time. I could give my brain a rest. And after practices and tournaments, when I finally came back to everything on my plate, I felt like the next runner in a relay instead of three miles into a marathon. Being around a coach who cared about our academics and teammates I wanted to look good for ended up pushing me even harder to care about my academics, and my GPA the next marking period boosted. I was afraid of risking my new extracurricular activity, a “want” in my parents eyes, by not excelling in my academics, a “need.”

At Hunter College, I started out the first six months focused only on classes, working at a tutoring center, and getting ready for the next day. Some of the worst days of my college experience were during that time, when every day just bled together. And honestly, three years after graduating, I can’t remember much of that time. What I do remember, is starting to take advantage of the student lounge in my residence hall by actually getting to know my dorm-mates. It started out small by simply telling myself to go to the student lounge and attend the free events they were hosting in the gameroom. I worked up the confidence to strike up a conversation with one of the staff there, and he ended up inviting me to join quidditch (yes, it’s a thing). I started to remember the importance of taking time to do things just for fun, and stopped thinking of my educational career as time spent only for career advancement.

Years later, I look back and striking up those first conversations in the gameroom changed so much for me. I ended up being recruited for a staff position in the gameroom, and later an RA of the residence hall, for my sociability, talking to random people and making them feel welcome. That position was a jumping off point for student government, and I ended up serving on the Executive Board before graduating. I even ended up being nominated to serve on an advisory committee for public school alumni, which led to my current full time position working for the Department of Education.

7 years later, I’m still playing quidditch (again, yes, it’s a thing!). I have met people from all across the US, and travelled for competitions to states ranging from Florida, to California, to even Wisconsin. Most of my friends I interact with on a daily basis are from competing with my current team, or consist of old teammates I played with on my college team, and I can’t imagine my life without it. I volunteer for the sports organizations that manage quidditch across the US and internationally, volunteering around seven hours a week (on top of my 35-40 hour a week job, so it has to be something I enjoy) and it still feels more less like work than most classes I’ve taken.

-“Just try new things. Don’t be afraid. Step out of your comfort zones and soar, all right?” –Michelle Obama