Raise Your Hand in Class!
By Aisha Baiocchi, High School of American Studies class of 2021
In my Freshman year US History class, we had quarterly self reflections. Our teacher would pass them out about a week before we got our report cards, and ask us to think about ways to improve for the next quarter. I don't remember the exact questions, but I do remember always writing that I wanted to participate more in class. I wasn't disruptive or even disinterested, and my grade was never bad, but I couldn't seem to persuade myself to raise my hand, and because of that the grade always hovered at a B+/A-, which to me felt like a failure.
Part of me thought it was because I would mess up. I wasn't a bad student, but I lacked the background knowledge a lot of my peers had. They would raise their hands to answer a question, usually one that I knew the answer to, and go beyond that. They would elaborate, make modern day comparisons I didn't fully understand, and often the teacher would applaud them. He was a good teacher, I knew he would never discourage us from participating without those elaborate add ons, but I felt like the rest of the students would judge me. I didn't want to show them how out of place I was, so I decided to do some research on my own, to catch up.
During February break, I chose a book that I thought would work: The Constitution, a thick 245 page analysis and history by two reputable sounding white guys. Instead of renting it from the library, which was my go-to, I bought it, so I could annotate and properly take notes on it, another skill I was trying to "catch up" on. I read about two thirds of the book by the time school started again, and weirdly enough it didn't feel like a chore. It did at first, because I had decided that I needed to read the entire introduction, but by chapter two or three it started to feel more like a story.
I remember reading about the three-fifths compromise, an article in section two of the constitution that determined enslaved people were "three-fifths” of a person. Of course it's wrong to count anyone as only part of a human, but the reason it was added to the constitution was actually worse than just that. I learned that the more people a state had, the more representatives they had. More representatives means more power. So, if enslaved people were being counted as only part people, but couldn't vote, that meant they were giving states with more slaves, more power, while taking actual power away from the enslaved people. I formed a whole new layer of understanding, one that made our government seem more evil, but also the states with enslaved people seem more clever and strategic. When it was brought up in class a few weeks later, I remember feeling oddly proud that I knew something they didn’t. I was too nervous to raise my hand and share this insight with the class, but when nobody else commented on it, I walked out feeling a little more secure in my own historical ability.
I finally raised my hand about a month later. We were talking about the constitution, which was fitting given the book I had just read. The teacher asked if anyone knew the last state to ratify it, and I was about 99% sure, but the 1% doubt kept me from saying anything. Nobody knew so he said the answer, Rhode Island. My instinct was right, so I raised my hand right after he said it, not to repeat the answer but to add on.
"Didn't Rhode Island ratify it after George Washington was elected president?"
Again, I was right, and he went on to explain that to the rest of the class. He asked how I knew, and one of my friends said that it was because I used to live there. They were kind of right, I did live there, but that wasn't how I knew it. I didn't bother correcting her, I was too distracted by my accomplishment to bother. I had finally fulfilled that goal on my quarterly self reflection. I didn't talk in that class again, but it didn’t bother me anymore.
A lot has changed since then. I'm leading the curriculum committee of students who are working to help our teachers diversify what we learn. About a week ago I had a meeting with eight teachers where I talked, for an hour, about my experience and research without hesitation. It was scary, and I did even more preparation than I did for that one time I raised my hand, but the first was the hardest. I didn't know that, but I wish I did. Participating is scary, really putting yourself out there is hard, but it gets so much easier with time. I encourage all of you to do it, just once. You don't have to read a book to prepare or even be 100% sure you're right, just try it once.
